Wednesday, April 11, 2018

THINGS TO DO IF YOU ARE THE SUN: Cut from My THINGS TO DO Manuscript???

My editor Melissa Manlove suggested cutting my SUN poem from THINGS TO DO during the early stages of our email discussions because, at that point, it didn't seem to be helping with the arc of my "story" written in poems. Later, we added my revised version of it back into the collection after we changed the "small moment of crisis"--a thunderstorm. I kept the beginning of the poem the same--but changed the ending:

My original SUN poem:
Be big
and round
and bold
and bright.
Wear a crown
of golden light.
Keep the planets

in their place.

Be the queen

of outer space.
I changed the ending to this:
Shower down

            warm yellow rays.

Rule the sky

            on summer days.
REMINDER: I am giving away signed copies of my book THINGS TO DO during National Poetry Month. I will collect the names of people who have commented on my blog posts each week in April and put them in a bag. Next Sunday, I will draw a name from the bag of someone who commented on a post that I published during the week of April 8-14.
Drawing dates: April 15, 22, 29, 30.

1 comment:

Lexie said...

I like both the original ending and the revised ending to the poem. It reminds me of summer when I was a kid.
Continue the great work! Sincerely, Lexie