Monday, April 9, 2018

THINGS TO DO IF YOU ARE A HONEYBEE : Two Versions


I had to revise several of the poems that were in my original THINGS TO DO manuscript. Some had minor revisions; some required major revisions. One that underwent a major change was the honeybee poem, which had originally been a "worker bee" poem.

Things to do if you are a WORKER BEE as it appeared in my manuscript:

Be yellow and fuzzy.
Stay busy. Be buzzy.
Tidy and clean.

Tend to your queen.
Be a working machine—
A syrup collector.
Go forage for nectar.
Reap pollen from flowers.
Don’t spend idle hours.
Don’t sit and relax.
Make honey and wax.
You must toil without end—
Yours is a lifetime of labor,
My friend.

My editor Melissa Manlove thought the poem was too long. She suggested I keep just the first two lines...and leave the poem at that. I decided to add two new lines to the beginning.

The final draft of Things to do if you are a HONEYBEE:

Flit among flowers.
Sip nectar for hours.
Be yellow and fuzzy.
Stay busy.
Be buzzy.
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REMINDER: I am giving away signed copies of my book THINGS TO DO during National Poetry Month. I will collect the names of people who have commented on my blog posts this second week of April and put them in a bag. Next Sunday, I will draw a name from the bag of someone who commented on a post that I published during the week of April 8-14.

Drawing dates: April 15, 22, 29, 30.

1 comment:

Bridget R. Wilson said...

I just love your things to do poems! Such a fun form with unlimited possibilities as you are showing us.