Friday, February 27, 2009

Original Poem: The Exterminator's List of Things to Do

My husband and I were watching MSNBC one night this week. I began to feel ill when I saw Tom DeLay's face on the TV screen. (Shouldn’t he be locked up in prison somewhere in Texas?) Just looking at the man’s face brings on a feeling of malaise. The needle on my barfometer went haywire!

I decided to let Tom, the ex pest exterminator, be the subject of an original poem for Poetry Friday this week. I wrote this poem for Tricia's Monday Poetry Stretch - Macaronic Verse. Here’s my macaronic verse in which the second language consists of words I made up.

The Exterminator’s List of Things to Do
A Typical Workday for Tom Delay

by Elaine Magliaro

Snurl the snails
And slimy slugs.
Sonk the sow
And doodlebugs.

Flurk the flies,
Gnink nasty gnats,
Wurf the wasps
With baseball bats.

Smoot and smash
The millipedes.
Erk the earwigs,

Burb the beetles
Munching roses…
Mothy larvae
Chewing clotheses.

Murch the mantis
When she’s preying
On her mate…and
Then start spraying

Bugs wrapped up
In balls of spittle.
Grunch the grubs
Now while they’re little.

Arf the aphids
Sucking sap…
Then borp ’em
With my baseball cap.

Tumb the termites
Gnawing lumber,
Ant queens reigning
In the umber.

Derch those dung-heap
Who’ll raise your taxes.
Rotten rats!

(Best I’m able
To determine
They’re just a pack
Of human vermin.)

Quell MY head lice
With shampoo.
Lord, I’ve so much
Work to do!!!

A tidbit of wisdom from Tom DeLay on the causes of the Columbine High School massacre:
"Guns have little or nothing to do with juvenile violence. The causes of youth violence are working parents who put their kids into daycare, the teaching of evolution in the schools, and working mothers who take birth control pills."



At Blue Rose Girls, I have one of my favorite poems—Pot Roast by Mark Strand.

The Poetry Friday Roundup is at Mommy’s Favorite Children’s Books.


jama said...

OMG! This is brilliant. I so enjoyed gnawing on all the made up words. It's great chanting material.

Elaine Magliaro said...

Thanks, Jama! It's strange--I never know how some ideas for writing pop into my head. I guess it's easy to write about things we either love or hate.

Yat-Yee said...

You are amazing! Coming up with this after watching Tom DeLay's face?

Elaine Magliaro said...


I thought that writing the poem would a better response than throwing my show at the TV!

Anonymous said...

Oh, I love these sounds. Some great, great lines.

Grunch the grubs
Now while they're little

I think that one's gonna be stuck in my head all weekend!

Elaine Magliaro said...

Thanks, Jennifer. I did my best to alliterate the lines. It was fun making up words.

Jules at 7-Imp said...

Way to rise to Tricia's challenge! That is great!

Elaine Magliaro said...

Thanks, Jules! I haven't taken part in many of Tricia's poetry stretches lately. Thanks to better health...I think I got some of my poetry-writing energy back.

Anonymous said...

Fun reading for a Saturday morning (much more satisfying than reading the paper!). I especiall liked:

Arf the aphids
Sucking sap…
Then borp ’em
With my baseball cap.

Well done!

Elaine Magliaro said...

Thanks, Martha! I do enjoy writing humorous verse--and reading it. I really wish there was more light verse being written for adults today.

Anonymous said...

You cannot see me, so I will have to tell you that I laughed and cheered and clapped like a seal when I read this one. Brava!!

Elaine Magliaro said...

Thanks, Kelly! That means a lot to me coming from you--our kidlitosphere poetry expert.

I'm Jet . . . said...

What a fab poem!


Elaine Magliaro said...

Thanks, Jet! Tricia's Poetry Stretches often get my creative juices flowing.

Anonymous said...

I love poetry.

I will present this to my student.

Mam, would you care to have exchange link with me so i could promote your blog and you promote mine too.

Actually we are looking for somebody who are willing to sponsor a scholar of grade school children in the Philippines.

These scholars are what we call bright and deserving (very low income) student who pass the science curriculum for Elementar pupils.

Nick (SBJ) said...

Nice work.

Elaine Magliaro said...

Thanks, Nick!