Friday, November 26, 2010

Two Poems Two Ways


Sometimes I like experimenting with poems that I’ve written. I may take a mask poem and rewrite it as a poem of address…or a cinquain…or an acrostic. I might take an acrostic and rewrite it as a mask poem, a list poem, or a poem of address. I might take a list poem and rewrite it as a mask poem, a poem of address, or an acrostic. This morning, I took two of my “things to do” poems and I rewrote them as mask poems. Would you care to tell me which version of each poem you prefer?


Things to Do If You Are an Orb Spider

Weave a web of silken strands
With spinnerets
(You don’t need hands.)…
A silver net…a sticky snare…
A clever trap that’s light as air.

Weave a web…
Then watch and wait
Upon your woven dinner plate.
No need to hunt to catch your prey.
A meal will soon be on its way.


An Orb Spider Speaks

I’ll weave a web of silken strands
With spinnerets.
(I don’t need hands)…
A silver net…a sticky snare…
A clever trap that’s light as air.

I’ll weave a web…
Then watch and wait
Upon my woven dinner plate.
No need to hunt to catch my prey.
A meal will soon be on its way.


**********

Things to Do If You Are a Snail

S l o w l y . . . s l o w l y . . . take your time.
S l i d e along your trail of slime.
And everywhere you chance to roam
Bring along your mobile home.



Snail Speaks

I’m slow…so slow. I take my time.
I s l i d e along my trail of slime.
And everywhere I chance to roam
I bring along my mobile home.




At Blue Rose Girls, I have A Poet, A Poetry Panel, A Poetry Stretch, An Original Poem.

Jone has the Poetry Friday Roundup at Check It Out.

8 comments:

Mary Lee said...

I like them both as mask poems. I like hearing the animal speak its own story.

(And can I just say how much I loved getting to FINALLY meet you at NCTE! Now I can hear your voice in all of your writing!)

Carol-Ann Hoyte said...

To me, the mask poems possess a more active voice and drew me in more than the "Things to Do" versions of the poems

Kelly Fineman said...

I prefer both of them in second person. I may be alone in that, but that's nothing new for me.

Amy LV said...

I like the mask poems best too...because I love imagining what animals think about. It feels like we're in on a secret with these two.

It was wonderful to have time to talk at NCTE...'can't wait for the next time. (I did not realize how funny you are!)

Jules at 7-Imp said...

Oh, Mary Lee, I'm jealous! I want to meet Elaine.

Thanks for the poems. I hope your Thanksgiving was great, Elaine.

Kathleen Armstrong said...

I love the mask poems best. Elaine, I missed not being at NCTE, and I'm thrilled that you all chose Pat for the award this year. Yea for poetry.

Julie Larios said...

Nice poems! And I'm with Kelly on this - framing it in 2nd-person makes me feel like the poet is describing me, and I become the spider! Addressing it in 1st-person feels like the poem belongs exclusively to the animals, and they're telling me what it's like for them. But I don't feel like I'm looking through animal eyes, as I do with 2nd-person. (Something tells me that explanation had too many pronouns!)

Elaine Magliaro said...

Thanks to all for your comments.

*****

Mary Lee & Amy,

It was great to meet both of you in person at NCTE!